Woah!!! I haven’t been here in, like, two months! Jeeze! I really should get back to writing again. I… am a terrible person. So, without further ado, I shall write something and share it with the world.
So, what’s been happening? Well, mostly I’ve just been busy. There was an interruption in my daily writing routine. It was an interruption I was perfectly fine with and fully backed so it’s my fault I got derailed. I lent out my writing station to someone in dire need and just got out of the habit of writing regularly. Then other demands on my time were made and one thing led to another. That is to say, life happened and writing went on the back burner. Then other things took over my writing time because I let them. So I’m going to write tonight and see about writing again in the future.
I’m not sure I can guarantee a regular writing schedule any more. I miss writing like this, kicking back and letting the thoughts flow, melding with the keyboard and letting things out. Writing so much last year kept my mind in check, gave me a release valve for all those messy thoughts that clutter my mind at night. I need to keep writing in mind, make myself write regularly so I can get back into the swing of things.
I imagine I’m writing this and sending it out into the void where nobody will ever see it. A quiet, lonely diary. Ha! Whatever, I’m just gloomy and weird. I probably ran everyone off by not writing for two months. Two and a half months? Yeesh.
Yeah, so… blah blah blah, I was gone but now I’m maybe back, blah blah. Not very encouraging, is it? No… Oh, well. Just leave it at “I had the urge to write and maybe it’ll happen again tomorrow or sometime soon”.
I guess my problem getting back into writing was… more than one problem, I guess. A few things.
First, I didn’t feel like I had anything to write about. I didn’t have any life to write about. The best writers, I feel, write about people and experiences and places. I don’t have that many people around me, I don’t experience much, and I don’t go places. Therefore, what do I write about? I don’t feel like I’m writing about anything significant so it’s easy for me to lose touch with my writing.
Second, I don’t like my writing. I’ve tried changing things up and switching things around and just generally meddling but in the end my writing is what it is. It’s not going to change, it’s not going to suddenly vastly alter into something I adore, so I need to work on my editing or get used to the way I write.
Third, I tend to keep a lot of things to myself. Locked away, you might say. When I do let things out, I abstract them away to keep others from harm. That way I don’t hurt anyone’s feelings but I also don’t really say what I feel. It’s a double-edged sword. It keeps me safe but safe isn’t always where you become honest. Safe isn’t for creativity. Safe isn’t where beauty and inspiration blossom.
How do I resolve these problems?
First, I do stuff. Do stuff to write about, meet people to write about, have experiences to write about and keep writing about.
Second, keep writing. Be comfortable with who I am and what I say and how I say it. Play around with it if I like. It’s my writing, to do with as I please. That it is what it is and always will be.
Third, write honestly and from the heart. It does me no favors to try and paint a pretty picture all the time. Sometimes it’s time for the truth. I don’t want to name names because that’s not how it’s done, not right. But I’ll speak the truth all the same, if for no other reason than I can’t. I’m so… withdrawn in person. I need an outlet, somewhere.
That is all, in boring entirety. I hope you enjoyed it and I hope I can get some more in your face hole again tomorrow! Cheers!