Confidence

Confidence is an unusual occurrence. People can naturally have it or you can build it up from nothing. It can stem from a lack of fear or an ease based on skill. It’s hard to fully quantify. There are tests for your intelligence, your memorization, your ability to implement things you know, but there’s no test for confidence.

Confidence is a belief in your abilities. It stems from an understanding of how correct you are when doing something. That’s all. You’ve heard the term “he exudes confidence”? That means he or she knows what they’re doing and knows they know what they’re doing. Confidence stems from knowledge, skill, and an understanding of the extent of your abilities. Different books and classes and seminars say they can help boost your confidence. While I think that’s admirable, I find it hard to believe. If confidence stems from skill and your understanding of your skill, one of two things are missing if you lack confidence in your abilities. Lack of skill or lack of understanding of said skill.

Lack of skill is the easier to remedy. Knowledge is your ally here. If you want confidence in your skills in something, learn all you can about it. Read everything you can online about it. Check out books from the library and read them cover to cover. Memorize all the facts you can. Study it in-depth. Find a way to practice, to put to use what you’re learning. Go over it again and again and again and again and again and again. Make it second nature. Ingrain it in your mind. Expand outwards from the core information and learn secondary and tertiary information. Take your practice to the next level. Get to the point that any question is easy to answer, any trouble is easily fixed. Master your skill and then learn how to adapt and change to create something new.

Understanding of your skill is more difficult to remedy. The best I can say in this area is master the skill to the point that it’s second nature, to where you barely even have to think about it.

I used to have a friend who doubted her own abilities, her skills, her intelligence. She was so doubtful in her abilities that she studied and practiced and went over everything over and over and over and over. She usually slept three or four hours a night because she was up so late studying, practicing, memorizing. She didn’t spend time with friends or watching movies or talking on the phone. She studied constantly. A few years later I saw her again and asked her how things were going. She was so far beyond anyone else that she barely studied or practiced. She was tutoring and mentoring others. She used her abilities to show others what they could do, her confidence driving her forward.

Confidence is an end result. It comes from knowing what you can do, knowing that you have the skills and the know-how to handle any situation that comes up. It comes from studying, from practice, from memory. My friend had no better or worse memory than anyone else I’ve ever known. She learned everything she could and that knowledge boosted her confidence.

If you’re having trouble with your confidence, learn. Study. Practice. Not just a little, either. Push yourself over and over and over. Memorize. Study. Find others and learn from them. Master the skills and you’ll find your confidence growing. Learn, study, practice, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat. Good luck!